Content With The Now

I love me some goal planning. Planning my future and mapping out all the could be's. Lists on lists. I know this about myself. This part of me has been the driving force that has resulted in some big positive decisions in my life, marriage and even parenting. But I also know sometimes I can get carried away, idea after idea. Before I have even completed one thing, I'm already dreaming and plotting the next and the cycle goes on and on. I sometimes don't give things enough time to settle before I'm jumping on another band wagon.

I crave the ability to be content. To live in the now. To embrace the everyday moment of today. I'll be honest, this does not come naturally to me. Am I the only one who struggles with this? This week it has come to my attention that I might need to learn how. To take conscious bits of time out of my day until it does become natural. Because life is zooming by. When my attention is constantly on the future, I miss out on the joys of today.

This week I suddenly became more aware. Turns out Maeve only knows one line out of the 12 Days of Christmas and she really gives it all she's got. "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" Olive has been showing me all the ballet moves she has been practicing so that we will put her in lessons. Her determination is pretty cute, so I'll definitely will be looking into that this week. The moment I watched Maeve fall so hard and Olive ran to her side to comfort her. Watching Maeve play with the bathroom door every time Olive has to go and hear them bicker back and forth over it is hilarious. I took a night off the usual bath or TV routine and just talked with Rob. Realizing we both had so much to say. Seeing his face go from exhaustion to happiness as he walks in from a long day of work to see us.

This week I am learning that as much as I can be a dreamer and a planner it is also possible to be present and content with the now. I think of these little moments this past week and feel so much joy for where I am at right now. Although there is always room to grow and improve, this place feels so perfectly un-perfect.

Winter Blues

Aren't the winter blues supposed to happen later after a long winter? Well, I have been feeling extra blah lately and I have no idea why. Maybe it's the change in weather. Maybe its been the slow progress on our renovations. Maybe it's the additional half hour added to my day dedicated to putting on snow gear. Maybe it's the lack of sun and shorter days getting me down. I'm not totally sure, it could even be a factor of all of thee above. Do you ever feel like this, where you just can't shake the funk? I keep double taking at the calendar thinking my time of the month has to be coming any day now. Anyways, I have been switching some things up to try to encourage and motivate myself!

Self care tends to be something I let go when I am feeling less then fabulous. But I have been making a conscious effort to moisturize, paint my nails and shave my legs. Due to the colder weather these things can be let go, but there is something to be said about doing these little extras that can put a little more pip in your step. 

Lug out the recipe book. I have found switching up my diet with some different twists on the favorites or trying something completely new has really made a difference. The same tired meals over and over never does it for me. Pulling out the crockpot or throw in some Christmas baking here and there. Also, hot drink options are numerous. There are so many teas and hot drink mixes and I have been picking up one new one with groceries these last couple of weeks. It's simple but its been nice, not only for me, but for options when people come over.  I'm just having fun with it. 

Is winter cleaning a thing!? Sometimes the holidays can leave me feeling cluttered. So I have been purging on holiday d├ęcor that I'm not in love with and some of the girls toys that they have grown out of. Putting away all our fall outerwear and replacing it with all the winter gear. Finding the right storage solutions, labeling, organizing all give me a high. What's wrong with me!? I just feel so accomplished tackling these little things.

The last thing I've been doing is limiting my time on social media. Although I love my blog and I love having this outlet, sometimes the promoting feels super overwhelming to me. So, I've decided while I'm in this slump I'm just taking a little more time to myself. Less time on my phone and just hoping by December I will be past this weird phase I am going through. Is it just me or are you guys feeling it too? Let me know what things you do to get you through your blues. I am in no way doing all of these everyday, but one or two of these things a day has really kept me going on the everyday things I absolutely have to do. Photos are a flashback to hot park days in the summer.

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More Permanent Solutions

So, you decide you are not having anymore kids. Awesome! Great! Congratulations! Awkward silence... It's now time to talk about more permanent forms of birth control. Let's be real no one wants a "whoops," although they still do happen. So as you know, my husband and I have come to this decision that we are finished having kids of our own. So I kind of thought we had had this conversation before we even had our first, Olive that he was eventually going to get a vasectomy. And I kind of thought that it didn't even need to be said out loud, "book the appointment!" He is the one not wanting more kids so get it done my friend! Annnnd he didn't. Yep, definitely needs to be said out loud.

So I brought it up, made a compelling case about how I need a piece of mind. That we needed something more permanent. The last thing I need is the stress that we could have a child and we aren't on the same page. Plus birth control costs money and when you never intend on coming off it again it is just an expense I don't want to have. So now it comes down to him or me. I had no intentions of getting my tubes tied I will be up front about that. It is a way more invasive process with a 6 week recovery time and that is the thanks I get after birthing two children. So I start to bargain: "You will be taking two weeks off of work because I won't be here. I call it the 2 week recovery vacation (could make longer to prove point) and I will be on it if you don't want to get a vasectomy done that bad." Well, after a little research he booked himself the appointment.

You know the day you first get pregnant and then every crazy story comes out of the wood work of all these terrible pregnancies and births. I remember being petrified of losing my teeth, hemerging to a near death and losing my baby all together with the first little bit of my pregnancy. I have never been more scared to do anything in all my life. Same thing goes for vasectomies. Honestly, the stories that came out really freaked Rob out. Balls going black, losing function of your "you know what". But he was committed and there was no turning back.

So in the midst of these terrible two weeks of rain and head lice, Rob got the surgery and not to worry he is fine and his member is fine. I am not going to lie to you and say he has had the best time of his life but it has taken about a week to start feeling his normal self again. Both of us have no regrets and it is really not as scary as it may seem. He gets everything tested in 2 months and ta da, all done! Anyways it has been a crazy couple weeks. Sorry if I have been off, there has just been so much going on. I just need life to slow down so I can catch up. Not like that is going to happen. If I have learnt one thing, it is to continue having these types of conversations. Expectations and decisions change over time. It is not a one talk and we are done. So have these conversations now and later and in between. Any men out there needing reassurance just talk to Rob. Best husband ever!