First Year Of Blogging

I started this blog August of 2016. We had just gone on our first camping trip ever and I wanted to share everything that had happened with everyone. Summers are busy and I couldn't get a hold of everyone to tell them all about it. As time goes on the details of your story get fuzzy and you start to forget some of the memories or key details that would have fully captured that moment. It was then that made me want to start a blog. Somewhere to put all the memories and have family and friends look at it like an online scrapbook. After my posts on the camping trip, which was 3 posts long, I decided to go back to school part time and that consumed all my free time. So of course the blog was put on the back burner. At the beginning of 2017, a year ago from today, I had decided I was really going to take a go at blogging; aim to write more and commit more time to my blog.

In order to truly commit to something you need some accountability and that is when I decided to make it public knowledge about my blog. This was absolutely terrifying for me. You don't have any control over who is reading your words anymore. Not knowing what is being said about you behind closed doors. Being someone who barely passed English every year in high school, I have been a little insecure when it comes to my writing. There are so many blogs out there and I have been so inspired joining this community of people. I haven't quite figured out if I have a niche yet. I am a storyteller and this blog is like my diary in some ways. Can I just say lifestyle? I'm not sure.

I am so glad I let everyone in. This space, that was meant to be a family scrapbook, has turned into this raw truth of all my dreams and drowning moments. I'm so happy I have been able to encourage some of you with my words or gave you a minute escape. Maybe a little laugh here and there at my expense. Whatever it is that you come to my blog for, just know I will always be honest with you. The things that I have found the hardest about being a blogger are my own insecurities and being consistent. Both are still a constant work in progress. I have to applaud all the bloggers out there that have been doing this for years without skipping a beat. This experience has been so rewarding but has also challenged me in ways I never saw coming. It has forced me to do things that I wouldn't normally do and take pictures when I normally wouldn't. Writing has also been therapeutic for me as well. There is something about writing something down that makes me feel like I'm letting go. I highly suggest giving blogging or writing a try if it has been something on your mind to do. In my experience the pros definitely out weigh the cons.

If you have been reading along and ever have questions that you are dying to know the answer to I am an open book, ask away! Comment, email, private message, whatever works best for you. I love when you share with me too!

More Permanent Solutions

So, you decide you are not having anymore kids. Awesome! Great! Congratulations! Awkward silence... It's now time to talk about more permanent forms of birth control. Let's be real no one wants a "whoops," although they still do happen. So as you know, my husband and I have come to this decision that we are finished having kids of our own. So I kind of thought we had had this conversation before we even had our first, Olive that he was eventually going to get a vasectomy. And I kind of thought that it didn't even need to be said out loud, "book the appointment!" He is the one not wanting more kids so get it done my friend! Annnnd he didn't. Yep, definitely needs to be said out loud.

So I brought it up, made a compelling case about how I need a piece of mind. That we needed something more permanent. The last thing I need is the stress that we could have a child and we aren't on the same page. Plus birth control costs money and when you never intend on coming off it again it is just an expense I don't want to have. So now it comes down to him or me. I had no intentions of getting my tubes tied I will be up front about that. It is a way more invasive process with a 6 week recovery time and that is the thanks I get after birthing two children. So I start to bargain: "You will be taking two weeks off of work because I won't be here. I call it the 2 week recovery vacation (could make longer to prove point) and I will be on it if you don't want to get a vasectomy done that bad." Well, after a little research he booked himself the appointment.

You know the day you first get pregnant and then every crazy story comes out of the wood work of all these terrible pregnancies and births. I remember being petrified of losing my teeth, hemerging to a near death and losing my baby all together with the first little bit of my pregnancy. I have never been more scared to do anything in all my life. Same thing goes for vasectomies. Honestly, the stories that came out really freaked Rob out. Balls going black, losing function of your "you know what". But he was committed and there was no turning back.

So in the midst of these terrible two weeks of rain and head lice, Rob got the surgery and not to worry he is fine and his member is fine. I am not going to lie to you and say he has had the best time of his life but it has taken about a week to start feeling his normal self again. Both of us have no regrets and it is really not as scary as it may seem. He gets everything tested in 2 months and ta da, all done! Anyways it has been a crazy couple weeks. Sorry if I have been off, there has just been so much going on. I just need life to slow down so I can catch up. Not like that is going to happen. If I have learnt one thing, it is to continue having these types of conversations. Expectations and decisions change over time. It is not a one talk and we are done. So have these conversations now and later and in between. Any men out there needing reassurance just talk to Rob. Best husband ever!

Can I Put You Out?

I think as a society, we are told growing up, the goal is to be self-sufficient. Eventually you won't live on your parent's dime, you'll get your license,  get a job, work towards a career, maybe own a house. So we continue with this mentality of relying on ourselves more then others.

When you become a new parent your told at least once "Your world is going to be flipped upside down". They are right in about every way! Including this way of thinking because to truly get through parenthood you have to reach out. You have to rely on other people for things you never thought in a million years you would ever need. I've learned in the world of parenting to be self-sufficient is isolating, lonely and quite depressing. They say it takes a village but no one tells you, you need to ask the village for help. That you would need to say, "hey I am lonely, I need company". Or, "hey I'm exhausted can you love on my baby while I take a nap". Or, "hey this isn't working do you have any ideas".

I used to be that self-sufficient person to a fault and I still can fall into it when I am not paying attention. I hide in my own little world where I don't need help from anyone. You can do it all on your own, but I guess why would you want to. Maybe because you're worried of what that will say about you or maybe you don't want to put anyone out.

When I had my first, Olive, I used to cry myself to sleep at night thinking why does anyone do this. I would tell baby Olive all about how I used to have a life and friends and now it's just me and her and her dad. I would beg my husband to get home early everyday. I thought by asking for help meant I wasn't a good mom. Or if I said out loud that I was miserable that meant I didn't love Olive. That maybe that meant I was being selfish and ungrateful for this absolute blessing in my life. I would tell myself these terrible things everyday. Somehow my silence and self-sufficiency would prove those statements false. I've now realized asking for help is strength. Inviting people in only gives me and my kids the opportunity for more love.

I truly think we need to break through this cycle. Put people out! I love going out of my way for others. I embrace the out of the blue phone call or text. Maybe one day it will feel natural for me and I won't give everyone 50 chances out of doing me a favor.

It's not to say you're never going to have a lonely day or you're never going to have a helpless moment again. But by inviting people in has helped my days where I am alone because I'm refreshed, loved and inspired.

So feel free to make the first step me. Message me anytime, ask me anything. Put me out! I'd love it :)