Happy 6th Anniversary!

Rob and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Sunday. There are some days I can't believe that it was 6 years ago we said, I do and other days where I'm asking, "Are you sure it hasn't been longer!?" When I think back to my idea of what marriage looked like when I married my husband, I was pretty naive. Each year I have grown in this relationship. Learned something new with every change along the way. Marriage can bring out the best and the worst all at the same time. 

When I look back on this year, which has been a hard year of change for us, my biggest eye opener is how strong we are capable of being for each other. But, it is a choice we both have to make everyday. Both of us hit lows at different points. In these struggling moments is when I saw our marriage shine. Not because it was easy, not because it didn't hurt, and definitely not because it was pretty. But we looked out for each other in ways that aren't ever clearly defined. No one can prepare you for let downs, set backs, depressions and failures. Now, when I think about those low moments, I remember the shoulder that handled the waves of tears, the cheerleader that never lost their voice, the light in the darkness and the peace that always broke the fight.

I have never loved my husband more! I have never wanted so much to see him succeed and to see him happy. I couldn't be more proud of him, with everything he has had to over come and everything he has yet to achieve. I still stand by him, proud to say he is mine. I am so on board with another year of lows and highs! Isn't the 7th year the hardest? 

Happy Anniversary Babe! I will love you forever and always no matter what is thrown our way! xo Joce

Summer Adjustments

At the start of the summer I came in with all these expectations of late nights, warm days, camp fires, fun and lots of day trips. No more school for Olive and I for these couple months. A chance to do all the things we didn't get a chance to do during the school year. But like most expectations in life, my summer dreams were not even close to the reality. I have found it to be a bit of a process and adjustment these first few weeks of summer to put it lightly.

First week I thought my girls would never get along. First day Maeve punched Olive in the face 3 times. What is happening here!? Finally we got over the hump of them wanting to kill each other and we were hit with the biggest heat wave ever! Now I think I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. A summer both the girls and I can finally get on board with. Lots of swimming in Grandma and Grandpa's pool, trips to the splash pad, crafts and painting. I'm starting to realize that day trips and museums might actually not be a good fit for my kids after all. They are a nice treat every now and then but they are truly their happiest long term with lower key days. 

Parenting always seems to have a weird way of slapping you across the face and yelling YOU'RE WRONG! I really just have to laugh at this whole adjustment period because it has been something else. So here is to laughing at myself, taking a step back, and just seeing where this summer heat takes us. Oh and lots of ice cream! I hope you're having an easier time transitioning into this wonderful season. What do you fill your summer days with?

Never Said It Would Be Easy

I've been weighing my options of what I want to do a year from now, when my youngest starts school full-time. As I start coming up with ideas, I have noticed a trend; I like a road that is guaranteed. I favor where I know 100% that I can succeed. But that limits me to where I can go and what I can do. What if the thing that is truly my passion could also be where I could possibly come up short? What if I have to fall a million times before a small success? Do I play it safe, avoid the risks? But what is a risk? And as I go back and forth between all the possibilities, I start to realize the only risk I'd be taking is hurting my pride.  That is where my hesitation lies.

My heart has been set on attending Carleton University for Journalism for quite some time now. I have looked into other schools and programs, oddly enough I keep coming back to this one. But it is not just that easy to apply because I don't have the grades to get into the program. There is no worse feeling then feeling like you come up short. It is almost easier to brutally fail than to not be enough. To avoid the heartache, I've done everything to take myself away from that dream. It finally hit me the other day, what would happen if I tried?

So I have enrolled myself back in high school to get my marks up to be competitive enough to get into the program. I think the hard reality is even after I go do all this work to get in, there is still no guarantee I will get accepted. There is still a huge possibility I could come up short again. But life will move on if that happens. I've got other options in place if it doesn't work out. But I am trying! I'm going to admit and say it is a little embarrassing having to go backwards. Nine years go by and I am back. But it is time to remove the stigma around bettering ourselves. Whether it be school or counselling, I have had a lot of discouragement sent my way over these decisions I am making. I just wanted to get on here and talk to those that have been on the fence about making choices like these. Never put down an opportunity to better yourself. I feel like I am giving it 100% not choosing a 100%. So win or lose, I know I have won with a better version of myself. I think that is something worth striving for.