Our Song

It's nearly dusk, we are both exhausted from a long day of packing, driving, pitstops and a motion sick child. We no longer can find a radio station without static and with wearing patience you throw on the iPod that hasn't been updated in years. You choose an old favourite. A knowing smile spreads across your face, as we burst into song. As I sit there with my hand held in yours, I try to think of what our song is. Waves of memories come back to me. All the music that has carried us through the different stages of our life together.

Would it be that last week of summer, when you asked me to be your girlfriend? Wasn't it the B.O.B presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray album that you would put on repeat? Every time one of his songs would come on I would always think of you. How you would play "Lovelier Than You" and say the only person you could think of is me.

Or maybe it's when we were on our honeymoon, making our way to BC. After all the busyness of getting married, we dropped the ball on music for the drive. Having only one CD to keep us going for 13 hours, which didn't take too long to get old. I laugh and cry as you obnoxiously sing "I Did It Again" by Luke Bryan just trying to stay awake and alert on the twisting mountain roads through the night.

When we became new parents. Our little Olive had a favourite artist, Whitney Houston, and two parents that couldn't sing one note on key. "All At Once" was her personal favorite. Sang over and over again. We were both tired and exhausted but you still would sing with me almost to just let me know we were in this together.

As you start to sing "Alright" by Darius Rucker, I smile because this song with you right now is just us. As we get closer and closer to Lake Erie to vacation with family and friends, I can't help looking forward to what song will be ours next.

Happy 6th Anniversary!

Rob and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Sunday. There are some days I can't believe that it was 6 years ago we said, I do and other days where I'm asking, "Are you sure it hasn't been longer!?" When I think back to my idea of what marriage looked like when I married my husband, I was pretty naive. Each year I have grown in this relationship. Learned something new with every change along the way. Marriage can bring out the best and the worst all at the same time. 

When I look back on this year, which has been a hard year of change for us, my biggest eye opener is how strong we are capable of being for each other. But, it is a choice we both have to make everyday. Both of us hit lows at different points. In these struggling moments is when I saw our marriage shine. Not because it was easy, not because it didn't hurt, and definitely not because it was pretty. But we looked out for each other in ways that aren't ever clearly defined. No one can prepare you for let downs, set backs, depressions and failures. Now, when I think about those low moments, I remember the shoulder that handled the waves of tears, the cheerleader that never lost their voice, the light in the darkness and the peace that always broke the fight.

I have never loved my husband more! I have never wanted so much to see him succeed and to see him happy. I couldn't be more proud of him, with everything he has had to over come and everything he has yet to achieve. I still stand by him, proud to say he is mine. I am so on board with another year of lows and highs! Isn't the 7th year the hardest? 

Happy Anniversary Babe! I will love you forever and always no matter what is thrown our way! xo Joce

More Permanent Solutions

So, you decide you are not having anymore kids. Awesome! Great! Congratulations! Awkward silence... It's now time to talk about more permanent forms of birth control. Let's be real no one wants a "whoops," although they still do happen. So as you know, my husband and I have come to this decision that we are finished having kids of our own. So I kind of thought we had had this conversation before we even had our first, Olive that he was eventually going to get a vasectomy. And I kind of thought that it didn't even need to be said out loud, "book the appointment!" He is the one not wanting more kids so get it done my friend! Annnnd he didn't. Yep, definitely needs to be said out loud.

So I brought it up, made a compelling case about how I need a piece of mind. That we needed something more permanent. The last thing I need is the stress that we could have a child and we aren't on the same page. Plus birth control costs money and when you never intend on coming off it again it is just an expense I don't want to have. So now it comes down to him or me. I had no intentions of getting my tubes tied I will be up front about that. It is a way more invasive process with a 6 week recovery time and that is the thanks I get after birthing two children. So I start to bargain: "You will be taking two weeks off of work because I won't be here. I call it the 2 week recovery vacation (could make longer to prove point) and I will be on it if you don't want to get a vasectomy done that bad." Well, after a little research he booked himself the appointment.

You know the day you first get pregnant and then every crazy story comes out of the wood work of all these terrible pregnancies and births. I remember being petrified of losing my teeth, hemerging to a near death and losing my baby all together with the first little bit of my pregnancy. I have never been more scared to do anything in all my life. Same thing goes for vasectomies. Honestly, the stories that came out really freaked Rob out. Balls going black, losing function of your "you know what". But he was committed and there was no turning back.

So in the midst of these terrible two weeks of rain and head lice, Rob got the surgery and not to worry he is fine and his member is fine. I am not going to lie to you and say he has had the best time of his life but it has taken about a week to start feeling his normal self again. Both of us have no regrets and it is really not as scary as it may seem. He gets everything tested in 2 months and ta da, all done! Anyways it has been a crazy couple weeks. Sorry if I have been off, there has just been so much going on. I just need life to slow down so I can catch up. Not like that is going to happen. If I have learnt one thing, it is to continue having these types of conversations. Expectations and decisions change over time. It is not a one talk and we are done. So have these conversations now and later and in between. Any men out there needing reassurance just talk to Rob. Best husband ever!