I love me some goal planning. Planning my future and mapping out all the could be's. Lists on lists. I know this about myself. This part of me has been the driving force that has resulted in some big positive decisions in my life, marriage and even parenting. But I also know sometimes I can get carried away, idea after idea. Before I have even completed one thing, I'm already dreaming and plotting the next and the cycle goes on and on. I sometimes don't give things enough time to settle before I'm jumping on another band wagon.
I crave the ability to be content. To live in the now. To embrace the everyday moment of today. I'll be honest, this does not come naturally to me. Am I the only one who struggles with this? This week it has come to my attention that I might need to learn how. To take conscious bits of time out of my day until it does become natural. Because life is zooming by. When my attention is constantly on the future, I miss out on the joys of today.
This week I suddenly became more aware. Turns out Maeve only knows one line out of the 12 Days of Christmas and she really gives it all she's got. "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" Olive has been showing me all the ballet moves she has been practicing so that we will put her in lessons. Her determination is pretty cute, so I'll definitely will be looking into that this week. The moment I watched Maeve fall so hard and Olive ran to her side to comfort her. Watching Maeve play with the bathroom door every time Olive has to go and hear them bicker back and forth over it is hilarious. I took a night off the usual bath or TV routine and just talked with Rob. Realizing we both had so much to say. Seeing his face go from exhaustion to happiness as he walks in from a long day of work to see us.
This week I am learning that as much as I can be a dreamer and a planner it is also possible to be present and content with the now. I think of these little moments this past week and feel so much joy for where I am at right now. Although there is always room to grow and improve, this place feels so perfectly un-perfect.